Office Secret Santa giving you nightmares? We have your Secret Santa dilemma solved!
Secret Santa in the office has become as much of a tradition as the office Christmas party. It is, almost as much of a mine field in terms of awkwardness and etiquette, as the Christmas party. The budget is never high, because who really wants to spend a tenner on someone you don’t know? Unless you’re lucky enough to get your mate, it’s hard to know what they like and how well they can take a joke. Secret Santa presents can be absolutely terrible. The worst ‘gifts’ I’ve heard of include, a soap on a rope with a pubic hair stuck in it (gross), a mug that has someone else’s name on it, and a fake hand covered in fake blood, (this actually happened to me). If you’re stuck with what to buy this Christmas, here are my top picks to suit the usual office suspects, all for £5 or less;
The Office Joker
Staplers in jelly, swapping sugar for salt, and endless rounds of office email LOLS! Get your resident comedian, an Emergency moustaches kit , just in case anyone tries to get serious.
The Quirky Design guy
Allan is a graphic designer / ale enthusiastic / home gin-distiller, has a real moustache, wears working man boots and a Steptoe hat – but no-one knows why. Get him this compact mirror with a cat on it, so he can check his moustache, and the bizarre cat decoration will be right up his alley.
Dave, who works in the delivery yard, is always to be found banging and tapping on every available surface. He has long hair, is still the lead singer of a band he started in college, and his mum still makes his packed lunch. Get him a pair of Drum Stick Pencils.
Danny is usually found recovering from the weekend because he ‘had a mad one’. Always the first to suggest a trip to the pub, no matter how reluctant everyone else is, he is already talking about his holiday to ‘beefa’ next summer with the lads – get in! This pocket pint glass (collapsible and inflatable), is perfect for a sneaky office drink if no-one will take him up on that offer to come for a Thursday ‘sesh’ and, will come in handy when he’s bobbing about on his lilo in San Antonio next July.
Alana is spending this Christmas in India on a yoga retreat with her ‘spiritual guide’ Hank from California. Often to be found downward dogging by her desk, get her this Nirvana incense stick so she can create the right aura around her work station or this Colour dripping candle for her lunchtime meditation sessions.
Will, has just finished Uni, (he went to Bristol). He has been interning in media, is a DJ at the weekends, and is never out of his Nike trainers. He’s sweet, but totally clueless - he needs some Pocket Kanye Wisdom
The one who just went through a break-up
Poor Angela, she was devastated when Barry broke it off with her, and she literally has not stopped crying or talking about it since. Get her this Soap & Glory gift set, which is the only thing that won’t remind her of ‘my Barry’, and hopefully all that pampering will cheer her up a bit.
Marta, works in the marketing department, she has her own blog, is never far from her Prada handbag and is constantly Instagramming the Gucci loafers she blagged from a friend who works at fashion week. Add to her collection of faux fur accessories with this, Fur ball key ring.
The Office Perv
Every office has one. He never looks you in the eye but always down your top, says inappropriate things, such as, ‘I love that shirt, it’s almost see-through isn’t it?’ and makes you squirm every time he creeps up to your desk. Get him some, light up trainer laces, so you can see him coming.
Unlucky, the boss is definitely the worst and hardest person to buy for. You don’t want to appear unprofessional and take a joke too far, but equally, you don’t want to get him/her anything rubbish which will appear boring or stingy - NIGHTMARE. My advice, go for this grow your own tree kit and if your feeling bold get them some wall art, ‘Stay Classy, Sassy and a little bit Bad-assy’, (Coconut Lane, £6).